Unrealistic

Been so afraid recently, afraid things might go wrong again and not being able to go with you, afraid that it'll be the last time we're meeting. I just don't know what to do to feel better, i'm trying so hard to not cling onto you, trying so hard to not let anything affect me, trying so hard to be strong, but... I guess i'm wrong. After all i still feel everything, and i'm not strong enough to walk away. The only reason i keep going back to you is because i really love you, i would rather have no ego or backbone than losing you. I rather look pathetic begging you back than losing you.. Do you get the whole story?? I just hope it won't be the last time,wanting to speak up to you but i tried speaking up before and it didn't went well, and what is left for me to do is to act like it didn't bother me at all.... Really hoping things would get better soon..... This unrealistic thing have to come to an end, i just want you to stay by my side and not leave me. The only wish i wish for....