You're still the apple to my eye, my definition of a perfect boyf :')

You really got no idea how worthless you make me feel. People say whenever you wanna give up, think of what make you held on so long, truth is.. What make me held on so long was because i love you. What make me lose you was also because i love you. Tell me how to hold on now ? I know you never wanted me to hold on, it's me who can't let go, my fault. You just make me so damn comfortable being with you, the only time i am myself was with you. I could tell you everything, do everything with you without feeling awkward at all. Everything you does just seem so attractive to me, tbh i've never look at someone and feel like this before. You're just.. my definition of a perfect boyf. I won't deny you're the worst guy i've seen but yet you're the best too.. I held on too long, it's been a year that i fell for you. I was there all along, but now even if i want to be there i can't. I got no chance to get close to you, be by your side at all.... I can hardly remember anything about you, really... I won't deny i miss you so fcking much and still love you as much as i do. But my only choice left was to let go , i'll let go, i'll give up. I give up on this friendship too. Idk how to feel anymore. I'll still keep you deep inside my heart, i'll still miss you, i'll still love you, i'll still care for you if i know something happen to you but.. i won't show. I'm trying to be happy, trying really hard. I miss you ....